IM has got me reading a book right now (I can't decide whether to tell which book it is b/c I hate when things are given away...even small things...before I've had a chance to discover them myself...so I won't say which book). However, there's some infertility in it. The man describes a bit about how sex for the sake of sex has been replaced by sex for the sake of procreation and how that's just no good. That got me thinking a bit about our situation....
We've been going through this a long time so perhaps we are just past "that" stage but I don't feel that way at all. Amazingly, I don't feel as if infertility has hindered our sex life at all. It seems that we have sex purely for the pleasure...only for the pleasure since I can't seem to get IM pregnant the old fashioned way. We've been having unprotected sex for....well...a long time....5 years at least. We did go through the ovulation test phase of ttc (trying to conceive) to time our sex for when IM would be most fertile but it seems like we only did it for a limited time in retrospect. Now things are strange (although we don't really know it any other way) in that we have sex for fun and we go see a fertility Dr. to try and have a baby! How's that for infertility turning your world upside down. The good thing though is that we have no pressure in the bedroom at all. We don't feel as if there is any hope whatsoever that IM will get pregnant naturally so we don't have sex for procreation at all. What would be the point? You go to the Dr. to have a baby! The help you create an embryo and then that embryo is place directly in IM's uterus. It's always been that way :)
I was talking to IM last night about all of this and I speculated that it was b/c we moved rather quickly onto IVF (she argued about "quickly" with since we tried naturally for over 8 months, did two...or was it three...IUIs before moving on) and so didn't spend a lot of time on the ovulation testing and sex timing and once we were into IVF we figured that we just have sex for fun. She, on the other hand, figured it had to do with us having our proverbial shit together sexually, i.e., having a good sexual relationship. I suppose that's true b/c when we were using ovulation testing and having to have sex at 11am on a weekday I was more than happy to abide by her command! People speak of spontaneity of sex being lost when going through infertility but once you reach the part of the journey where having a baby with natural sex (sans Dr.) seems hopeless then it's like being a new couple and having sex for fun, except better, b/c you have no anxiety whatsoever about getting pregnant.
Still....I know we are missing out on something fundamental; not being able to experience getting pregnant by having sex the same way our ancestors have done for hundreds of thousands of years. That hard-to-explain, ethereal, cosmic feeling of producing a baby...offspring...descendants...through nothing but sex. I'm sure that's a really profound feeling to experience. Oh well...things are what they are. I have lots of flaws and many things in life aren't perfect. This is just one of them. Besides, people without our problems often don't think heavily enough (out of blissful ignorance of the issue) to even know what they have. Such is life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment