On your mark.....

We're nearly off and running. The recently failed cycle completely sucked ass and we have both been rather hopeless since the bad news. But...for some reason I don't feel completely shitty today, which is ironic, b/c I got hardly any sleep last night, woke up with a terrible headache, and have a dull one right now 8 hours later. Well, whatever.

We went in to see the Dr today so IM's junk could get checked out. Everything's quiet and normal although I wonder how much they really know--at least IM's follicles are small, no cysts, lining is thin, blah blah blah. I suppose when things check out it's easy for us to say "what? they don't know shit" but if they catch something we are thankful for their diligence and expertise.

Anyway, IM's back on the delestrogen shots tonight. It's an intramuscular shot but it's only every 3 days and not nearly as thick as progesterone in oil--so its not as bad--of course, all I do is administer the shot!

I think we're both happy to be getting this cycle going. We signed up for a shared risk plan so in a totally morbid negative way we both originally thought (after the failed cycle) "let's hurry and get these cycles over with so they can fail and we can get our 25K back!" That is an upshot of failure, that's for sure. We've now done it both ways. We've going around the bend. In the beginning I thought all of these shared risk plans were hogwash b/c the odds were strongly on the side of us being successful with 3 cycles of IVF, in which case you don't get your money back. I know too much statistics and mathematics to be swindled into this type of "shared risk". I figured there was no way a clinic would offer something like that unless the odds were in their favor and I determined the odds were in their favor. But, now, it's different. We've failed quite a few times now. Luckily, IM is young so we still qualify for a shared risk. Plus, the jokes on the them for offering b/c we failed our fresh donor egg cycle. God, it still pisses me off. How on earth did that cycle fail????? Everything seemed perfect! (sigh) Well, it's that question that makes us both think these FET donor cycle(s) will fail too. Where are you, hope?

Anyhoo....we'll see how it goes? It always feels better to be "doing" something as opposed to waiting in a two-week-wait or grieving after a failure. No time for grieving!