With infertility a person has to really evaluate what it means to be a mother or a father. Is it having a genetic connection to offspring? Is it parenting? Is it the constant worrying that comes with these little people that you are responsible for? I suppose it's all of those things but the first one I listed--genetic connection--is way down the list usually. Not just for infertile people but for most people I think. It's like the old saying "any asshole can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad" or a parent or whatever. You get the idea.
Anyhoo, I'm riding the Metro today and I see a lady in her mid-forties, white, grayish hair...with two little girls about 8 or 9 years old. The girls are black--as in african american--with corn-rows. As they get off they both took their mother's hand and walked away (at least I assume she was their mother) and I thought that there's the true definition of a mother...that's what it is all about. Being a parent.
Whatever. The point is quite obvious, but being pregnant and giving birth does not make you a mother. Maybe a "by definition" mother but certainly not a parent. Parenthood is something that you work for and earn. Luckily, for IM and I--as if we had a choice in the matter, we want to be parents and someday we will be parents. I wonder who the lucky kids will be! :)
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