the homestudy

We had our social worker come to our home for our homestudy this week. I feel like I've been going through the motions to get through the "to do" list without really knowing how to process what a strange experience it all is. I'm happy to report, however, that the homestudy visit was really harmless. It was our 2nd time meeting her, the first time was when she did our individual interviews in her office. The agency we have selected for our homestudy is really great and I have nothing but good things to say about them thusfar.

Our social worker used the time to interview us further, but to also talk about what to be prepared for in the process of adoption. We discussed the potential for physical and developmental problems, as well as emotional challenges with attachment disorder and other issues that may arise. Adoption is a life-long process.

I found myself fairly emotional through the conversation, trying to hold back my tears almost the entire time...and it's hard to put into words why exactly. These are all issues that Intended D and I are well are of. We have read as much as we can about the possibilities, and we understand that we have to be prepared for a lot of possible challenges. I suppose having to talk about it out loud made it more real and less of a hypothetical. But until we are faced with real situations, how can we possibly really know what awaits us or how we will deal with it...

Not much else to write for now. I thought I'd be able to reason my feelings out as I was typing them but the words aren't flowing right now.