Another Mother's Day

Another Mother’s Day has passed.
Luckily, I have pretty thick skin. We sent Intended D’s mother flowers for Mother’s Day. We missed her call and she left a message to thank us for the gift. In her excitement, the end of her message began with a “Happy Mother’s D……” and trailed off, and she quickly recovered with a “Happy-All the Women in Our Lives-Day!”… Bless her heart. I know she tries and I’m lucky to have parents and in-laws who try to be sensitive. Mostly it hit my sarcastic funny bone and I couldn’t help laughing at how thoughtlessly that came out of her mouth… and then I quickly quieted down because I didn’t want to hurt Intended D’s feelings.
Hell, even our home study social worker (who has years of experience and whom we connect with incredibly well) wished me a Happy Mother’s Day! I tried really hard to not be annoyed at her either. Her enthusiasm was out of trying to convince me that this whole adoption journey WILL have positive results and the word “motherhood” is now a safe word. But if my adoption caseworker says it, how can my mother-in-law know how taboo it is?

And so back to the pain of Mother’s Day. I have been able to see it strictly as a nuisance or an annoyance more than a painful experience. For me, it doesn’t rank with the twinges of pain I experience at the mention of baby showers, pregnant women, or boisterously proud new parents. I know I am lucky because I have a mom I get to celebrate. I don’t live near her but in my heart, it is a day that I relish my mother’s presence in my life, the influence she has had in creating the person I have become. I have too many friends who have lost their mothers. I grieve for those who don’t have a mommy to celebrate on Mother’s Day more than I grieve for myself for not having a baby to call me mommy.