IM took a home-pregnancy test last night when we got home from our trip. Of course, it was negative. Of course it was. It seemed completely inevitable. After all, I actually went on the trip with her so I could administer her shots and all that jazz. $380 and 3 days off work so that I could give her a painful shot every morning while the embryo inside her most likely was already dead. The official pregnancy (beta) test is Tuesday but, really, what's the point? I know, really without any doubt, that miracles simply do not exist--I have never experienced one, so, what's the point of a pregnancy test on Tuesday.
Even having been through this many times before it is always devastating. I laid on the couch for about an hour and then went to the store to get beer and wine so that I could get drunk. Honestly. That lame, drink your sorrows away, type of drunk. The kind where the sorrows don't really go away at all.
IM keeps saying this is like some sort of cruel joke. We have sacrificed so much and compromised so much and given up so much and been through so much. Enough already.
This has been an impossibly hard year and I'm completely exhausted and beaten.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment