Well...it has begun

Today we went to the IF office to sign our waivers or whatever you wanna call it. I would prefer to just put my signature on file and mark my preferences once and for all. We've filled out these stupid forms about a dozen times and I'm just getting sick of it. Initial here..initial there...sign here. Fine. Do whatever you need to do to impregnate me wife! I'm okay with it!

Anyhoo, IM had blood work and an ultrasound. I'm sure everything is ok and depending on blood levels she'll get a shot, administered by yours truly, tonight to officially kick of the festivities. For a FET cycle IM has to take progesterone-in-oil and delestrogen (I think). They are both intramuscular shots and, hence, painful...and not very fun to give either. The progesterone-in-oil is the worst b/c it's a large dosage, hurts like hell, and the oil doesn't really break down well so IM will get knots and bruises....her bruises don't really show which is nice I guess but they still hurt. Let's just hope I don't hit a nerve (LITERALLY!) on accident. The whole point of the meds is to prepare her body to be pregnant since it's not a natural cycle and she won't ovulate so her body won't be ready. I'm sure we've blogged about the details before and I'm losing interest in these types of things anyway. I know way too much about a woman's cycle considering the fact that I'm not a medical doctor. Plus, I didn't become a Dr b/c I'm just not that interested in this stuff...so there! And, yet, I now know it anyway. Great. Still, though, the science behind ART is pretty amazing and fascinating.

Many things have to go "right" this cycle. IM's preparation via drugs hopefully goes well and she remains relatively healthy for the cycle. The embryo needs to survive the thawing process. Both embryos survived perfectly last time so hopefully this one will too...but you never know and it is a painful thought to consider that it might not make it. Pretty devastating. Plus, a bunch of unneeded drugs would've been taken. Then, the transfer has to go well. We've had potentially important issues with that since IM's pathway to the uterus is like a twisty path of death evidently...we've blogged about it before. So I'm hoping for the best and repeating the mantra of "Why not us?". It could work. Nothing says it can't and IM actually got pregnant last cycle...so it did work in a way. So this can work too. IM, of course, is taking the usual tactic of assuming it will not work since it hasn't after all this effort b/c she doesn't want to be disappointed when (if?...let's stay positive) it doesn't work. Whatever. At the end of the day our success or lack thereof for this cycle doesn't change depending on our fucking attitudes. The world is too cold and cruel for attitudes to matter. I know that as an incontrovertible fact through my personal experience. The "universe" doesn't fucking care about anybody one way or the other. Shit happens for random (but well established scientifically) reasons. It's not as if we don't have a baby yet b/c IM and I are not sufficiently positive and hopeful. I mean honestly. This isn't the fucking Secret. Oh wait...what was my mantra. "Why not us?" Ahh, there it is. "Why not us?" "Why not us?" "Why not us?" "Why not us?" ...